Couples Therapy

Improve your relationship - and your parenting - with couples coaching.

How I'll help

We will focus on how you communicate, resolve conflicts and manage the strong emotions associated with being in a close relationship.

That means arguments and disagreements are rarely just about what they seem to be about: coffee cups left by the dishwasher, who does the most housework or childcare, different parenting styles, how clean your home should be, or the importance of being on time. What you are more likely arguing about is not being seen or heard, understood or appreciated. Or maybe you are feeling controlled, spoken down to or belittled.

The stuff of everyday life triggers intense feelings because they often have a bigger emotional meaning attached.

I'll help you get quickly to what's really going on underneath the surface - and help you change that together.

If you need it, I'll help you learn practical tools to parent well together.

I won't side with one of you over the other - my job is to help the relationship work for both of you.

Couples therapy also stresses the need to manage conflict constructively. Conflict is inevitable. I'll help you accept your differences while reducing any tendency to criticism, contempt, defensiveness or zoning out when disagreements arise, as these are evidence-based killers of a relationship.

We're likely to talk about sex, too - so be prepared to do so: who initiates it, how frequently it takes place, whether you want it to be different. Your sex life is likely to reflect what’s going on in your relationship more generally.

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What we'll do

Decades of empirical research have shown that your early relationships shape how you act and what you expect in your relationships. Attachment science challenges the assumption that people tend to seek out those they think will make them happy in a relationship and that, rather, they tend to seek those who feel familiar.

So, I'll work with you both to understand what you bring from your earliest relationships to the relationship you're now in - and, of course, how to bring out the best in each other as a result.

Sessions are 50 minutes long (although can be longer for couples) and take place online via Zoom.

I’ve been working solely online for more than two years. The vast majority of people who come to me for help appreciate how convenient it is for them. They don’t have to travel to someone’s office or house, and can fit it in during the working day when an in-person session simply wouldn’t be feasible. The evidence suggests it makes no difference to whether you’ll find our work beneficial.

Fees

My couples sessions start at £100 for a 50 minute session.

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