"It's Up To You"

I'm in today's Metro discussing "four words that will instantly annoy your partner".

I wouldn't quite put it that clickbaity way, but those four words are "it's up to you."

There's a kernel of truth in the idea that the phrase is annoying: we should generally ask for what we want and say what we desire when asked. Then we negotiate and seek common ground - that's the daily work of a decent relationship. It's annoying to be faced with indecision when you know, deep down, your partner wants something but doesn't want to bear the responsibility of stating an opinion or making a decision. It's a kind of white lie: I'm going to pretend I don't care to pacify you and look like the good guy, but I'm leaving the door open so I can criticise your decision later on.

We're all besieged by a multitude of decisions we need to make in our work and lives every day. It's understandable that we sometimes want a break from that. But our partners face the same barrage of decisions and information. Don't leave them holding the ball every time, just because you feel you need a break. The mental load needs to be shared.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio via Pexels.